Necessities

late night..just came from work..tired..just want to drop dead on the bed to numb the never ending series of disappointments of this day. But somehow i am unable to sleep.. somehow i feel the urge to write something that i have been dealing with for the past few months.. well.. as mentioned i already have a girlfriend and i think and feel that she is the one.. the one im going to marry.. (well woopie doo!!) problem solved?!? If you have a brain the size of a walnut then yes... it is problem solved...but sad to say no... its not.. its far from being 'ladida' but 'shit..' indeed im already past the 'problem' most of the drama-queens out there are nagging about.. but as we all know life as we know it doesn't seem to just sit around and do nothing..NO sir..no.. life keeps just getting better and better!!

Well.. im not complaining about it.. of course im happy to the fact that i found the one that im going to marry..that now my life has a direction and a constant reminder that my life is really a 'L-I-F-E'...BUT.. yeah i know there's a big BUT..but the thing is..one problem solved and a whole lot of problems appear all the fuckin same time.. and do you know what that is?? FUTURE my friend..FUTURE.. OUR FUTURE..damn it..*sigh*

..HOUSE..LOT..CAR.. three horrific things that has been haunting my every footsteps for the past couple of months.. its like a tiny worm eating my brain..and it sucks.. sucks so bad that its beginning to disrupt my cognitive thinking..God.. i mean.. im walking down the street to get to work then the next thing i know im thinking on HOW to get those freakin things!! MAN THAT SUCKS! and worse..i cant get my mind to stop thinking about those things..its killing me!!

as we all know im just a slave on a bpo company earning a salary of around 15K per month.. my estimated NET pay is around 7+K (given that i have minimum tardiness and no absences...tch! tough luck!) my salary is barely able to cover my meager existence..(believe me its meager..i am yet to buy a freakin shirt on a department store for the past 3years...all of my clothes are 'ukay' worth 25php-50php) and now im forced to deal with the reality that i have to find a way to get a HOUSE, LOT and a CAR..wow.. that sucks...and "PAG IBIG ANG KASAGUTAN KABAYAN!" is NOT the answer my friend.. its just not enough...

Breaktime last 17:00 my buddy and i was talking about owning a house and lot in San Pedro Laguna..he asked me if i was interested in an 80sq. km. lot for 500,000php.. he told me that if it was financed through Pag-Ibig then the cost for the lot will be around 5K for 25 years.. so i said.. "okay fair enough." then he said.. that it was only for the lot.. a house will cost 1.2 million pesos..i said "OK..." then a torrent of thoughts flood my mind... it like a tsunami that suddenly hit me HARD in the face saying YOUR A LOSER!! shit that sucks!

You know what? it really is hard to be a 'responsible' man in this country. ofcourse girls will say.."YOu guys have nothing of the hardships that we WOMEN endure everyday! and unlike you guys all you do is to fuck us and the baby will be carried by me for nine months and we have to be a slave forever to our kids and to you!!" <-- ass..

well you do have a point.. it is hard to carry a bulge for nine months.. and yes a guy's only work is to stick his dick to the female orifice...IF THAT Guy is just a MAN.. What im saying here is to be a 'RESPONSIBLE' MAN. Sure! yeah.. it is easy to be a man.. you know? as mentioned i just have to fuck, then stand around with my bulging belly with no shirt on, joke around with my 'manly man' friends, talk about basketball, girls, then basketball again..have a drink all day long.. wait for the salary of my wife.. get the daily 'limos' of my kids..(8 boys + 3 girls)..and then drink my ass off until late in the evening.. then go to my wife and fuck her again.. yep.. let it be known that i do not dispute the FACT that living a MAN's life is EASY.

THEN AGAIN..im talking about being a responsible husband and a parent.. now THAT IS HARD.. to be a provider..to be the leader of the family.. to be the shield of your wife and kids from the dangers of this God Awful Society.. it is HARD..and now the three necessities that i have to provide is gnawing at my brain right now.. it sucks to admit that i really am having trouble thinking how the hell am i suppose to provide that..when i don't even have enough for myself.. i have done all the things that can be done to reduce my expenses but it is still not enough..

so to all the girls out there..give us some slack and get your responsibly stressed hubbys a kiss once in a while to remind him that he is being appreciated. it will help..not that im not getting that from gf..hahaha =)

the point is..im scared shitless of the...... yet another batch of mountains heading my way.. but for my loved ones..(and future loved ones) i will conquer them all.. besides.. we are talking about millions here.. its nothing! i can do it!? *again another sigh*

Yeah.. i know i can do it.. i must.. for me and my future family i will do it.. ill just have to teach at two universities once i finished my master's..besides i already have a crude plan..teach at AMA (20K+) and at some public school (14K)..see?? everything will be alright... the only problem is..its two to three years away..