I finally mustered the courage to write again..i have been applying this new principle NOT to write anything...bad.. or discouraging. The reason for that is the negative emotions and attitude at that given time becomes imprinted more than the positive ones. And being a 'fun loving fat guy' that i am.. i chose not to write blogs like that. but here i am writing....hmm.. its not that im going to write positive-love-yourself blog..but i dunno..i guess a neutral one. wel.. i think i am not a goody-goody-positive-lovey-dovey guy today so lets just spill this out..
my girlfriend once told me (with a "i'm-sick-of-you-whining-look" on her face) 'why do you BPO workers are always degrading yourselves?!? You always say that you are miserable pathetic human beings that deserves sympathy?' ..whew.. that struck my innards so hard that i thought i'm going have fecal incontinence for a week...
Well.. why do i degrade myself? is it because of envy? hate? love perhaps? i really don't know... or maybe im just too proud of myself..to the point of REFUSING to believe that BPO is all i got for work? or maybe BPO is below me!? hmm... definitely needs more time to digest that.. well maybe i am wrong...maybe BPO is the place where i belong..i am at a lost of words to describe the feelings that i have right now.. maybe a mixture shock, hate, disappointment, and acceptance, hmm.. well i dont really have the words to describe it.. i remembered the time when i still have the morale to look for other jobs.. im in this interview session with a bank hr.. she ask me to describe my work.. i describe it diligently with full of details and passion... all she said was.."So your doing their job..(with an "i-don't-care-about-your-pathetic-loser-livelihood" face.)" WOW.. that really ROCKED my world.. as in wooOOooW like the swift descent from 150ft rail of a roller coaster..and it sucks..sucks so bad.. so bad that i still feel the urge to scream and punch the face of anyone near me whenever i remember that horrible degradation... then again she is right.. did you really think that a work on a BPO company is worth describing it as W-O-R-K? oh Hell no!! its just a LOOSE CHANGE from a wealthy passerby walking the streets of Holywood!! oh for God's sake!! how God Damn pathetic the philippines can be!??? My God... we therefore reached an all time low here folks.... wherein we can not have anymore jobs to the point we resorted to BEGGING the rich countries out there for Jobs that they do not want to do or simply too pathetic and degrading to do.......
That's it! Eureka! If found the answer to my question! I feel so low and violated because the J-O-B is not a J-O-B! Its CHARITY! Its just tasks that the rich folks DO NOT WANT TO DO! Its like roaming the streets of a subdivision yelling "Sir!! Mamm!! Baka po may LINO (lino=pig food=darak=scums on your plate after consuming a meal) kayo! Pahingi po pakain lang sa babOoooooYyYYy!!" Yep..exactly like that..
ofcourse there will be people who will say.."HEY! You fucking Ingrate! At least you have a job!!!" <- idiot...well if you don't have an ambition... yes.. or your too stupid and lazy to content yourself eating SCUMS then yes again your correct..people will say that i am too proud to the point of hubris.. but you know what!? I DON"T CARE! I will not give up without a fight! I will continue being angry and discontented because it makes me alive...ALIVE FOLKS! Can you not see the inevitable? The reality of it all? Being contented on PIG FOOD is not healthy..believe me it sucks. if you have dreams, if you have ambition, if you are ALIVE..then FIGHT for it. The odds are insurmountable... push through.. besides we don't have any choice..
in two years time i will finish my master's degree..i will become a college professor..i know that there will be other challenges to meet..but HEY! I have the CAREER that I want! So probably it will not suck more than this..
Until my destiny has been revealed to me... then i will do everything that i can to change my fate.. as a parting message for me.."Fight on! You lowly scum! Unless you want to die a pathetic loser!?"
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