11:10..i was supposed to go the gym..(yeah i know..its not that im vain or anything..but.. i already know the fact that i am now officially a 'Class 1 Obese' BMI >30..so there.) but i suddenly got the impulse to write..or im pretty sure that i just got the excuse not to go the gym again..hehe ^^
here goes..
just got back from the WC to take a nice dump of shit..when i heard kids outside just playing and doing 'kid-stuff'..normally i would be pissed because i hate kids..(there..i said it.. i HATE KIDS..i know its not normal..but i really..really..REALLY HATE KIDS..*grunt*) but this time its weird... i don't feel anything in particular..no hate..maybe that's because i suddenly remembered a scene way back when my mom, and nephew just got here in manila and started to coerce me in spending big bucks for a 'mall-experience' with my sister and girlfriend.. normally i would be pissed yet again because i know that im just going to waste time and money..but perhaps im getting soft..so i really had a good time. back to the scene.. my nephew was buying some stuff on a kiosk and said "Kuya!....ate...pabili ng gummy bear!"..O.K. so im guessing that you already have a picture on your mind about the situation..yes.. the store person..is gay. its funny really.. for us adults..we already have a rough idea to the so called 'Social Norms' established by our society..but kids.. kids will always be kids.. and kids even though their highly advanced relative to the kids way back in the 70's they still retain their innocence or ignorance.. i can not help but laugh..i saw the eyes of the lesbian and perceived its hate, then shame..then it turned again to blank..focused on giving the gummy bears to my nephew. i just looked on 'Denis' (nephew) sensing his apparent innocence as he trudged on to TimeZone where we intend to play.
As much as i hate kids because of their inherent stupidity..(i mean i only see them as little buggers scrambling senselessly to and fro causing havoc all the way)..i now find myself developing significant 'patience' when it comes to dealing with them...hmm.. weird..perhaps im getting old..too old that i am now finding myself drawn to them..their youthful smiles..stupid-goo-gaga eyes...and their cheerful demeanor and outlook in life..a far cry from the cold..calculating eyes of the adults..or better yet a goo-goo-ga-ga eyes of a stupid..idiotic countenance of an immature adult..EEOOWW..*shivers in disgust*
Or am i just missing my old self? back then i was cheerful and carefree... when im not bogged down by 'Social Norms' and so called ethics..there is no doubt about it..a kids life is fun..more fun than the adults..as for me..i just missed it..but im perfectly comfortable with my life as an adult..i have learned what it is to learn as a child..and i did not miss anything (perhaps the good stuff..and good treatments from the old people when i was a kid..yeah i know it sucks..i perfectly understand that..yep..cause im one ugly god damn..fat..smelly..kid..oh yes..i for one will LOATH and mistreat MYSELF when i see my kid-version..God i was UGLY as HELL! oh! i forgot..i have a skin of an aborigine too..so there..) not to be ready for the adult life.
yet everyday when i go to work i see kids hastily embracing the adult way of life. Kids in very short shorts.. kids in high heels..(my definition of kids = from high school down ok? and maybe college with high school cognitive traits..) kids in leggings..with panties saying "HI! Hello! HOw are you?" to the whole world..and to my dick..which is not good.. cause their kids..but it sucks..im a man..i can not help it im sorry....^^
or kids having a smoke..kids supposedly having the adult fun.. but their still kids..to loose their innocence on such a young age will have disastrous consequence..sooner they will loose their child-like outlook in life..sooner they will embrace the adult life..they will force themselves to be adults..or to be 'Adult-like'..they will try to behave like adults while retaining their immature physiology..they will focus all their energies on trying to be an adult.until they get what their wishing for..they will be adults.
and it will suck..they will see that life as an adult is much more complicated, much more tedious and will require a great amount of focus and responsibility. the social norms will bog them down just as it bogged us..and you know what happens next? They will fall...it is for the simple reason that they missed their childhood.. focusing, and obsessing too much on being an adult that they completely missed the childhood lessons..and traits that they will need in adult life.
henceforth..they will retreat..
retreat back to the childhood that they missed..
hence..we see adults behaving like kids..adults obsessed with regaining what they had..obsessed with the past when things are much more simpler.. when they see the world as a playground..see it as full of opportunities for play...for learning..for fun..but now it is all gone.. now they see the fact..that the world is full of threats.. mishaps.. and suffering..
its really sad and disappointing how their numbers swell this time and age..you see them all around us..senseless...happy..smiling..cool..idiotic...popular..idiotic yet again.. and with no ambition..
their doom sealed..
....eternally searching for the one thing that they can never be..
to be a kid.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A nice night to take a dip..
Its not particularly night here..i typed this right around 10:05..and the topic did not happen yesterday but last week..its just that with the G.S. and all i don't have much time for rest and relaxation for the mind. Should you want to waste your time then please read the senseless sense below..otherwise hit the 'back' button of your browser and get on with your life..^^
(Wednesday June 16, 2010 23:17)
Just got back from work.. as usual tired, abused, feeling crappy all over and sleepy. Of course i was greeted by the Mrs., had our usual talk, had my tea, went to the WC to take a shower. We had our usual discussion while in bed..waiting for the old 'sleep' to come by. She dozed off..and I in turn started to feel my old friend creeping in..as i was about to doze off my hand accidentally touched the floor....hmmm.. something's not right here..my hand feels cold....and WET...!??!? WET?? I opened my eyes and see the horrible mess besieging me..i looked at my hands and see that it is indeed wet.. im not dreaming!? and my hand is submerged to about an inch of water! "for all the sosyal out there..this is the perfect time to say your phrase..." OH MY GOD...as in OMG...our room is now currently filled by an inch of water!! and its not raining! and we are in the second floor!! and it really doesn't matter since a ROOM should not have water in the first place!!!
So i got up, switched on the lights to survey the mess.. the first order of business is to determine the source.. i looked on our water dispenser and its all good.. nothing wrong with that one..my gf said that she hears water pouring from the WC.. then the horrible truth played out inside my head..like a ram hitting its target's testicles..SHIT...i forgot to turn off the faucet when i had my shower...*DAN-DAN-DAAAANN*
I rushed to the WC..turned off the faucet.. and cursed the day...*sigh*
Of course im pissed because why a shit like this has to happen..and the worse part is..its my own God damn fault..so im so pissed that i actually felt my blood speeding its way to my forehead..PISSED.. then again.. it is my fault..and it happened.. so i took out a deep sigh..and said.. 'Oh Well.. SHit happens..'
I picked up a t-shirt from my stash of old clothes..went back in the room and started soaking up the water...and as i soak the water even more.. my mind started telling me something.. he said.. "Look at the bright side..at least the pool will be gone since the mess will be taken care of eventually." And you know what? He is RIGHT. The mess will be taken care of because im doing something to solve it. Indeed it takes time.. believe me it is LONG..i did not finish soaking up the last of the water until it is 04:00..so back to the point..i saw the FACT, i accepted the FACT, i sucked it all in and digest it, i thought about what to do with it because i don't like the fact that our room is a kiddie play pool. Then i do it..i persevere...i persevere..and persevere some more..because it is the only way to solve the mess..
As i was nearing the end..i thought of another bright side..At least i learned something new tonight..or today.. its an affirmation on what i have always believed in.. LIFE SUCKS...LIFE IS A BITCH.. and SHIT WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN..but I don't care..its LIFE..as long as we do what we must do and ENDURE..we'll get there eventually..
(Wednesday June 16, 2010 23:17)
Just got back from work.. as usual tired, abused, feeling crappy all over and sleepy. Of course i was greeted by the Mrs., had our usual talk, had my tea, went to the WC to take a shower. We had our usual discussion while in bed..waiting for the old 'sleep' to come by. She dozed off..and I in turn started to feel my old friend creeping in..as i was about to doze off my hand accidentally touched the floor....hmmm.. something's not right here..my hand feels cold....and WET...!??!? WET?? I opened my eyes and see the horrible mess besieging me..i looked at my hands and see that it is indeed wet.. im not dreaming!? and my hand is submerged to about an inch of water! "for all the sosyal out there..this is the perfect time to say your phrase..." OH MY GOD...as in OMG...our room is now currently filled by an inch of water!! and its not raining! and we are in the second floor!! and it really doesn't matter since a ROOM should not have water in the first place!!!
So i got up, switched on the lights to survey the mess.. the first order of business is to determine the source.. i looked on our water dispenser and its all good.. nothing wrong with that one..my gf said that she hears water pouring from the WC.. then the horrible truth played out inside my head..like a ram hitting its target's testicles..SHIT...i forgot to turn off the faucet when i had my shower...*DAN-DAN-DAAAANN*
I rushed to the WC..turned off the faucet.. and cursed the day...*sigh*
Of course im pissed because why a shit like this has to happen..and the worse part is..its my own God damn fault..so im so pissed that i actually felt my blood speeding its way to my forehead..PISSED.. then again.. it is my fault..and it happened.. so i took out a deep sigh..and said.. 'Oh Well.. SHit happens..'
I picked up a t-shirt from my stash of old clothes..went back in the room and started soaking up the water...and as i soak the water even more.. my mind started telling me something.. he said.. "Look at the bright side..at least the pool will be gone since the mess will be taken care of eventually." And you know what? He is RIGHT. The mess will be taken care of because im doing something to solve it. Indeed it takes time.. believe me it is LONG..i did not finish soaking up the last of the water until it is 04:00..so back to the point..i saw the FACT, i accepted the FACT, i sucked it all in and digest it, i thought about what to do with it because i don't like the fact that our room is a kiddie play pool. Then i do it..i persevere...i persevere..and persevere some more..because it is the only way to solve the mess..
As i was nearing the end..i thought of another bright side..At least i learned something new tonight..or today.. its an affirmation on what i have always believed in.. LIFE SUCKS...LIFE IS A BITCH.. and SHIT WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN..but I don't care..its LIFE..as long as we do what we must do and ENDURE..we'll get there eventually..
Friday, June 18, 2010
Demons
22:48 night has come yet again..the usual chatter surround the vehicle as it snakes the long winding road to lawton. the usual traffic... the usual faces..the usual eyes..some eager..some not..but almost always empty.
the usual as always..i divert my eyes to the streets ahead..looking at the pale yellow glow of street lights..looking at the strips of yellow paints in the road..looking at the people who wanders at night..but somehow they all look the same..
same as always..maybe it will be the same all over again..but this time maybe i'll do something to change it..i'll start something to make it right..maybe just maybe..
as i went down from the fx..look left and right to the passing lights and make my way through the cars and crowd i remember something that i used to do when i was a child...i used to...naaah its just too stupid to write..
then i found myself looking again at the lights waiting for a ride home..then i remember that i used too..
again stupid and pointless..im in another fx on the way home.. then i remember that i used to be so..happy. there i said it.. im used to be so happy almost all the time..perhaps it is because of innocence, perhaps i was just a happy person..or at least i could have been. then again..it is all in the past..there is nothing i can do to turn back what once was...
time..present..past..future..present. im stuck at present..yet glued to the past...whilst eyes fixed to the future..perhaps if my past was different..perhaps. then again it is all over now. tomorrow it will be the same..unless i change.
change..a funny word..with a funny note on the heart..somehow the word 'change' is ironic.. it is simple enough to say..but hard to do..
will it be the same over and over again? will i fear the same thing that i have feared when i was child? shall i do nothing but gaze at the future? or reach it.. to face it..to face the fears that has been plaguing my mind since i have known the truth. the truth about myself.. the part of me that shall forever be my enemy..my nemesis..my rival until the day i die..a war has been going on inside my head.. it seems that it has been going on for a very long time..a war that consumed my innocence, my happiness, my will..an eternal war where no one can be a victor..myself against myself.. fear..
we all have our demons..but this time..i will stand up. i will face them one-by-one..perhaps i can shed some light to the shadows..perhaps i can convince some of my demons to leave..perhaps i can now begin the trek from the past to the present and dream for a better future. perhaps this time we can have a truce..perhaps..
the usual as always..i divert my eyes to the streets ahead..looking at the pale yellow glow of street lights..looking at the strips of yellow paints in the road..looking at the people who wanders at night..but somehow they all look the same..
same as always..maybe it will be the same all over again..but this time maybe i'll do something to change it..i'll start something to make it right..maybe just maybe..
as i went down from the fx..look left and right to the passing lights and make my way through the cars and crowd i remember something that i used to do when i was a child...i used to...naaah its just too stupid to write..
then i found myself looking again at the lights waiting for a ride home..then i remember that i used too..
again stupid and pointless..im in another fx on the way home.. then i remember that i used to be so..happy. there i said it.. im used to be so happy almost all the time..perhaps it is because of innocence, perhaps i was just a happy person..or at least i could have been. then again..it is all in the past..there is nothing i can do to turn back what once was...
time..present..past..future..present. im stuck at present..yet glued to the past...whilst eyes fixed to the future..perhaps if my past was different..perhaps. then again it is all over now. tomorrow it will be the same..unless i change.
change..a funny word..with a funny note on the heart..somehow the word 'change' is ironic.. it is simple enough to say..but hard to do..
will it be the same over and over again? will i fear the same thing that i have feared when i was child? shall i do nothing but gaze at the future? or reach it.. to face it..to face the fears that has been plaguing my mind since i have known the truth. the truth about myself.. the part of me that shall forever be my enemy..my nemesis..my rival until the day i die..a war has been going on inside my head.. it seems that it has been going on for a very long time..a war that consumed my innocence, my happiness, my will..an eternal war where no one can be a victor..myself against myself.. fear..
we all have our demons..but this time..i will stand up. i will face them one-by-one..perhaps i can shed some light to the shadows..perhaps i can convince some of my demons to leave..perhaps i can now begin the trek from the past to the present and dream for a better future. perhaps this time we can have a truce..perhaps..
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Necessities
late night..just came from work..tired..just want to drop dead on the bed to numb the never ending series of disappointments of this day. But somehow i am unable to sleep.. somehow i feel the urge to write something that i have been dealing with for the past few months.. well.. as mentioned i already have a girlfriend and i think and feel that she is the one.. the one im going to marry.. (well woopie doo!!) problem solved?!? If you have a brain the size of a walnut then yes... it is problem solved...but sad to say no... its not.. its far from being 'ladida' but 'shit..' indeed im already past the 'problem' most of the drama-queens out there are nagging about.. but as we all know life as we know it doesn't seem to just sit around and do nothing..NO sir..no.. life keeps just getting better and better!!
Well.. im not complaining about it.. of course im happy to the fact that i found the one that im going to marry..that now my life has a direction and a constant reminder that my life is really a 'L-I-F-E'...BUT.. yeah i know there's a big BUT..but the thing is..one problem solved and a whole lot of problems appear all the fuckin same time.. and do you know what that is?? FUTURE my friend..FUTURE.. OUR FUTURE..damn it..*sigh*
..HOUSE..LOT..CAR.. three horrific things that has been haunting my every footsteps for the past couple of months.. its like a tiny worm eating my brain..and it sucks.. sucks so bad that its beginning to disrupt my cognitive thinking..God.. i mean.. im walking down the street to get to work then the next thing i know im thinking on HOW to get those freakin things!! MAN THAT SUCKS! and worse..i cant get my mind to stop thinking about those things..its killing me!!
as we all know im just a slave on a bpo company earning a salary of around 15K per month.. my estimated NET pay is around 7+K (given that i have minimum tardiness and no absences...tch! tough luck!) my salary is barely able to cover my meager existence..(believe me its meager..i am yet to buy a freakin shirt on a department store for the past 3years...all of my clothes are 'ukay' worth 25php-50php) and now im forced to deal with the reality that i have to find a way to get a HOUSE, LOT and a CAR..wow.. that sucks...and "PAG IBIG ANG KASAGUTAN KABAYAN!" is NOT the answer my friend.. its just not enough...
Breaktime last 17:00 my buddy and i was talking about owning a house and lot in San Pedro Laguna..he asked me if i was interested in an 80sq. km. lot for 500,000php.. he told me that if it was financed through Pag-Ibig then the cost for the lot will be around 5K for 25 years.. so i said.. "okay fair enough." then he said.. that it was only for the lot.. a house will cost 1.2 million pesos..i said "OK..." then a torrent of thoughts flood my mind... it like a tsunami that suddenly hit me HARD in the face saying YOUR A LOSER!! shit that sucks!
You know what? it really is hard to be a 'responsible' man in this country. ofcourse girls will say.."YOu guys have nothing of the hardships that we WOMEN endure everyday! and unlike you guys all you do is to fuck us and the baby will be carried by me for nine months and we have to be a slave forever to our kids and to you!!" <-- ass..
well you do have a point.. it is hard to carry a bulge for nine months.. and yes a guy's only work is to stick his dick to the female orifice...IF THAT Guy is just a MAN.. What im saying here is to be a 'RESPONSIBLE' MAN. Sure! yeah.. it is easy to be a man.. you know? as mentioned i just have to fuck, then stand around with my bulging belly with no shirt on, joke around with my 'manly man' friends, talk about basketball, girls, then basketball again..have a drink all day long.. wait for the salary of my wife.. get the daily 'limos' of my kids..(8 boys + 3 girls)..and then drink my ass off until late in the evening.. then go to my wife and fuck her again.. yep.. let it be known that i do not dispute the FACT that living a MAN's life is EASY.
THEN AGAIN..im talking about being a responsible husband and a parent.. now THAT IS HARD.. to be a provider..to be the leader of the family.. to be the shield of your wife and kids from the dangers of this God Awful Society.. it is HARD..and now the three necessities that i have to provide is gnawing at my brain right now.. it sucks to admit that i really am having trouble thinking how the hell am i suppose to provide that..when i don't even have enough for myself.. i have done all the things that can be done to reduce my expenses but it is still not enough..
so to all the girls out there..give us some slack and get your responsibly stressed hubbys a kiss once in a while to remind him that he is being appreciated. it will help..not that im not getting that from gf..hahaha =)
the point is..im scared shitless of the...... yet another batch of mountains heading my way.. but for my loved ones..(and future loved ones) i will conquer them all.. besides.. we are talking about millions here.. its nothing! i can do it!? *again another sigh*
Yeah.. i know i can do it.. i must.. for me and my future family i will do it.. ill just have to teach at two universities once i finished my master's..besides i already have a crude plan..teach at AMA (20K+) and at some public school (14K)..see?? everything will be alright... the only problem is..its two to three years away..
Well.. im not complaining about it.. of course im happy to the fact that i found the one that im going to marry..that now my life has a direction and a constant reminder that my life is really a 'L-I-F-E'...BUT.. yeah i know there's a big BUT..but the thing is..one problem solved and a whole lot of problems appear all the fuckin same time.. and do you know what that is?? FUTURE my friend..FUTURE.. OUR FUTURE..damn it..*sigh*
..HOUSE..LOT..CAR.. three horrific things that has been haunting my every footsteps for the past couple of months.. its like a tiny worm eating my brain..and it sucks.. sucks so bad that its beginning to disrupt my cognitive thinking..God.. i mean.. im walking down the street to get to work then the next thing i know im thinking on HOW to get those freakin things!! MAN THAT SUCKS! and worse..i cant get my mind to stop thinking about those things..its killing me!!
as we all know im just a slave on a bpo company earning a salary of around 15K per month.. my estimated NET pay is around 7+K (given that i have minimum tardiness and no absences...tch! tough luck!) my salary is barely able to cover my meager existence..(believe me its meager..i am yet to buy a freakin shirt on a department store for the past 3years...all of my clothes are 'ukay' worth 25php-50php) and now im forced to deal with the reality that i have to find a way to get a HOUSE, LOT and a CAR..wow.. that sucks...and "PAG IBIG ANG KASAGUTAN KABAYAN!" is NOT the answer my friend.. its just not enough...
Breaktime last 17:00 my buddy and i was talking about owning a house and lot in San Pedro Laguna..he asked me if i was interested in an 80sq. km. lot for 500,000php.. he told me that if it was financed through Pag-Ibig then the cost for the lot will be around 5K for 25 years.. so i said.. "okay fair enough." then he said.. that it was only for the lot.. a house will cost 1.2 million pesos..i said "OK..." then a torrent of thoughts flood my mind... it like a tsunami that suddenly hit me HARD in the face saying YOUR A LOSER!! shit that sucks!
You know what? it really is hard to be a 'responsible' man in this country. ofcourse girls will say.."YOu guys have nothing of the hardships that we WOMEN endure everyday! and unlike you guys all you do is to fuck us and the baby will be carried by me for nine months and we have to be a slave forever to our kids and to you!!" <-- ass..
well you do have a point.. it is hard to carry a bulge for nine months.. and yes a guy's only work is to stick his dick to the female orifice...IF THAT Guy is just a MAN.. What im saying here is to be a 'RESPONSIBLE' MAN. Sure! yeah.. it is easy to be a man.. you know? as mentioned i just have to fuck, then stand around with my bulging belly with no shirt on, joke around with my 'manly man' friends, talk about basketball, girls, then basketball again..have a drink all day long.. wait for the salary of my wife.. get the daily 'limos' of my kids..(8 boys + 3 girls)..and then drink my ass off until late in the evening.. then go to my wife and fuck her again.. yep.. let it be known that i do not dispute the FACT that living a MAN's life is EASY.
THEN AGAIN..im talking about being a responsible husband and a parent.. now THAT IS HARD.. to be a provider..to be the leader of the family.. to be the shield of your wife and kids from the dangers of this God Awful Society.. it is HARD..and now the three necessities that i have to provide is gnawing at my brain right now.. it sucks to admit that i really am having trouble thinking how the hell am i suppose to provide that..when i don't even have enough for myself.. i have done all the things that can be done to reduce my expenses but it is still not enough..
so to all the girls out there..give us some slack and get your responsibly stressed hubbys a kiss once in a while to remind him that he is being appreciated. it will help..not that im not getting that from gf..hahaha =)
the point is..im scared shitless of the...... yet another batch of mountains heading my way.. but for my loved ones..(and future loved ones) i will conquer them all.. besides.. we are talking about millions here.. its nothing! i can do it!? *again another sigh*
Yeah.. i know i can do it.. i must.. for me and my future family i will do it.. ill just have to teach at two universities once i finished my master's..besides i already have a crude plan..teach at AMA (20K+) and at some public school (14K)..see?? everything will be alright... the only problem is..its two to three years away..
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Farewell M.J.
I did not plan on writing a blog this afternoon, nor the whole day. Yet as i begin my usual day at the office. i received an email informing me that a friend has passed away. Her name was M.J. she was a friend of my girlfriend. Indeed i do not know her long enough to call her my friend but her death made me sad.
M.J. had a career at 711 corp. as a Management Trainee. She was a graduate of U.P. with a degree on Engineering. She had a good heart and a real sense of professionalism. She was so professional to the point the she actually cried when she was reprimanded for a minor situation. Honestly she made me laugh that day, spilling her heart out in front of me and jerin (a.k.a. g.f.). Because of a situation that most of us will shrug off.
As I said, she had a good heart.. too good perhaps that she opted to leave everything (her career, her family, her well-being) just so she can serve God as a Nun. That move really surprised me, it was so bold and courageous that I found that i have a sudden deep respect for her. We have to admit that almost all of us are so attached to all of this things in our lives that we are afraid to loose them... afraid to shake the 'status quo', afraid to step up to the challenge, afraid to loose ourselves... but M.J. is different. She is willing to do anything, sacrifice everything she has to do what she WANTED to do.. and for that she have my respect and admiration.
time passes by unhindered.... i didn't have any more news from her.. well.. i know that she is having a good time. who wouldn't? but then..i received news that she needs blood donation for a certain sickness. Ofcourse i thought..naah its nothing..then..i found out she passed away.. she finally reached God directly. as a mere mortal i am sad.. but as i think about it..she's the most happiest of us all. finally...no more travelling to the scum infested streets of manila..no more tired sleepless nights.. no more back breaking work..no more thinking.... no more anxiety.. no more fears.. just rest.
happiness beyond our wildest dreams..sweet....eternal....rest with God.
People will say that it is sad..but i choose otherwise..i am truly happy for her..in fact i envy her. she found what she want in life...she also found what she wanted in death. rest..
i've been searching for it all my life... just to stop everything..to stop thinking... to stop..to rest...life as i see it is really really really ironic..those who deserves to live..dies... those who deserves death...lives.. but who are we to judge? maybe it is her fate..maybe it is my fate.
i don't have the courage that she had..almost all of her friends don't have it as well. but one thing is for sure... she thought us a valuable lesson. That is to STEP UP..do what you want to do. There will be risks there will be challenges, there will be sacrifices...but it doesn't matter. As long as you reach your goal...as lone as you are doing what you have always wanted.. then it is all worth it.
M.J. had a career at 711 corp. as a Management Trainee. She was a graduate of U.P. with a degree on Engineering. She had a good heart and a real sense of professionalism. She was so professional to the point the she actually cried when she was reprimanded for a minor situation. Honestly she made me laugh that day, spilling her heart out in front of me and jerin (a.k.a. g.f.). Because of a situation that most of us will shrug off.
As I said, she had a good heart.. too good perhaps that she opted to leave everything (her career, her family, her well-being) just so she can serve God as a Nun. That move really surprised me, it was so bold and courageous that I found that i have a sudden deep respect for her. We have to admit that almost all of us are so attached to all of this things in our lives that we are afraid to loose them... afraid to shake the 'status quo', afraid to step up to the challenge, afraid to loose ourselves... but M.J. is different. She is willing to do anything, sacrifice everything she has to do what she WANTED to do.. and for that she have my respect and admiration.
time passes by unhindered.... i didn't have any more news from her.. well.. i know that she is having a good time. who wouldn't? but then..i received news that she needs blood donation for a certain sickness. Ofcourse i thought..naah its nothing..then..i found out she passed away.. she finally reached God directly. as a mere mortal i am sad.. but as i think about it..she's the most happiest of us all. finally...no more travelling to the scum infested streets of manila..no more tired sleepless nights.. no more back breaking work..no more thinking.... no more anxiety.. no more fears.. just rest.
happiness beyond our wildest dreams..sweet....eternal....rest with God.
People will say that it is sad..but i choose otherwise..i am truly happy for her..in fact i envy her. she found what she want in life...she also found what she wanted in death. rest..
i've been searching for it all my life... just to stop everything..to stop thinking... to stop..to rest...life as i see it is really really really ironic..those who deserves to live..dies... those who deserves death...lives.. but who are we to judge? maybe it is her fate..maybe it is my fate.
i don't have the courage that she had..almost all of her friends don't have it as well. but one thing is for sure... she thought us a valuable lesson. That is to STEP UP..do what you want to do. There will be risks there will be challenges, there will be sacrifices...but it doesn't matter. As long as you reach your goal...as lone as you are doing what you have always wanted.. then it is all worth it.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Business Process Outsourcing - 'God Save the BPO'
I finally mustered the courage to write again..i have been applying this new principle NOT to write anything...bad.. or discouraging. The reason for that is the negative emotions and attitude at that given time becomes imprinted more than the positive ones. And being a 'fun loving fat guy' that i am.. i chose not to write blogs like that. but here i am writing....hmm.. its not that im going to write positive-love-yourself blog..but i dunno..i guess a neutral one. wel.. i think i am not a goody-goody-positive-lovey-dovey guy today so lets just spill this out..
my girlfriend once told me (with a "i'm-sick-of-you-whining-look" on her face) 'why do you BPO workers are always degrading yourselves?!? You always say that you are miserable pathetic human beings that deserves sympathy?' ..whew.. that struck my innards so hard that i thought i'm going have fecal incontinence for a week...
Well.. why do i degrade myself? is it because of envy? hate? love perhaps? i really don't know... or maybe im just too proud of myself..to the point of REFUSING to believe that BPO is all i got for work? or maybe BPO is below me!? hmm... definitely needs more time to digest that.. well maybe i am wrong...maybe BPO is the place where i belong..i am at a lost of words to describe the feelings that i have right now.. maybe a mixture shock, hate, disappointment, and acceptance, hmm.. well i dont really have the words to describe it.. i remembered the time when i still have the morale to look for other jobs.. im in this interview session with a bank hr.. she ask me to describe my work.. i describe it diligently with full of details and passion... all she said was.."So your doing their job..(with an "i-don't-care-about-your-pathetic-loser-livelihood" face.)" WOW.. that really ROCKED my world.. as in wooOOooW like the swift descent from 150ft rail of a roller coaster..and it sucks..sucks so bad.. so bad that i still feel the urge to scream and punch the face of anyone near me whenever i remember that horrible degradation... then again she is right.. did you really think that a work on a BPO company is worth describing it as W-O-R-K? oh Hell no!! its just a LOOSE CHANGE from a wealthy passerby walking the streets of Holywood!! oh for God's sake!! how God Damn pathetic the philippines can be!??? My God... we therefore reached an all time low here folks.... wherein we can not have anymore jobs to the point we resorted to BEGGING the rich countries out there for Jobs that they do not want to do or simply too pathetic and degrading to do.......
That's it! Eureka! If found the answer to my question! I feel so low and violated because the J-O-B is not a J-O-B! Its CHARITY! Its just tasks that the rich folks DO NOT WANT TO DO! Its like roaming the streets of a subdivision yelling "Sir!! Mamm!! Baka po may LINO (lino=pig food=darak=scums on your plate after consuming a meal) kayo! Pahingi po pakain lang sa babOoooooYyYYy!!" Yep..exactly like that..
ofcourse there will be people who will say.."HEY! You fucking Ingrate! At least you have a job!!!" <- idiot...well if you don't have an ambition... yes.. or your too stupid and lazy to content yourself eating SCUMS then yes again your correct..people will say that i am too proud to the point of hubris.. but you know what!? I DON"T CARE! I will not give up without a fight! I will continue being angry and discontented because it makes me alive...ALIVE FOLKS! Can you not see the inevitable? The reality of it all? Being contented on PIG FOOD is not healthy..believe me it sucks. if you have dreams, if you have ambition, if you are ALIVE..then FIGHT for it. The odds are insurmountable... push through.. besides we don't have any choice..
in two years time i will finish my master's degree..i will become a college professor..i know that there will be other challenges to meet..but HEY! I have the CAREER that I want! So probably it will not suck more than this..
Until my destiny has been revealed to me... then i will do everything that i can to change my fate.. as a parting message for me.."Fight on! You lowly scum! Unless you want to die a pathetic loser!?"
my girlfriend once told me (with a "i'm-sick-of-you-whining-look" on her face) 'why do you BPO workers are always degrading yourselves?!? You always say that you are miserable pathetic human beings that deserves sympathy?' ..whew.. that struck my innards so hard that i thought i'm going have fecal incontinence for a week...
Well.. why do i degrade myself? is it because of envy? hate? love perhaps? i really don't know... or maybe im just too proud of myself..to the point of REFUSING to believe that BPO is all i got for work? or maybe BPO is below me!? hmm... definitely needs more time to digest that.. well maybe i am wrong...maybe BPO is the place where i belong..i am at a lost of words to describe the feelings that i have right now.. maybe a mixture shock, hate, disappointment, and acceptance, hmm.. well i dont really have the words to describe it.. i remembered the time when i still have the morale to look for other jobs.. im in this interview session with a bank hr.. she ask me to describe my work.. i describe it diligently with full of details and passion... all she said was.."So your doing their job..(with an "i-don't-care-about-your-pathetic-loser-livelihood" face.)" WOW.. that really ROCKED my world.. as in wooOOooW like the swift descent from 150ft rail of a roller coaster..and it sucks..sucks so bad.. so bad that i still feel the urge to scream and punch the face of anyone near me whenever i remember that horrible degradation... then again she is right.. did you really think that a work on a BPO company is worth describing it as W-O-R-K? oh Hell no!! its just a LOOSE CHANGE from a wealthy passerby walking the streets of Holywood!! oh for God's sake!! how God Damn pathetic the philippines can be!??? My God... we therefore reached an all time low here folks.... wherein we can not have anymore jobs to the point we resorted to BEGGING the rich countries out there for Jobs that they do not want to do or simply too pathetic and degrading to do.......
That's it! Eureka! If found the answer to my question! I feel so low and violated because the J-O-B is not a J-O-B! Its CHARITY! Its just tasks that the rich folks DO NOT WANT TO DO! Its like roaming the streets of a subdivision yelling "Sir!! Mamm!! Baka po may LINO (lino=pig food=darak=scums on your plate after consuming a meal) kayo! Pahingi po pakain lang sa babOoooooYyYYy!!" Yep..exactly like that..
ofcourse there will be people who will say.."HEY! You fucking Ingrate! At least you have a job!!!" <- idiot...well if you don't have an ambition... yes.. or your too stupid and lazy to content yourself eating SCUMS then yes again your correct..people will say that i am too proud to the point of hubris.. but you know what!? I DON"T CARE! I will not give up without a fight! I will continue being angry and discontented because it makes me alive...ALIVE FOLKS! Can you not see the inevitable? The reality of it all? Being contented on PIG FOOD is not healthy..believe me it sucks. if you have dreams, if you have ambition, if you are ALIVE..then FIGHT for it. The odds are insurmountable... push through.. besides we don't have any choice..
in two years time i will finish my master's degree..i will become a college professor..i know that there will be other challenges to meet..but HEY! I have the CAREER that I want! So probably it will not suck more than this..
Until my destiny has been revealed to me... then i will do everything that i can to change my fate.. as a parting message for me.."Fight on! You lowly scum! Unless you want to die a pathetic loser!?"
Friday, June 4, 2010
A funny, Imaginative, Nicotine, Caffeneited, Saturday Morning
Just woke up with a smile on my face realizing that it is Saturday. There's no work.. no more pretending.. no more stranger's eyes to meet.. just you. Free to imagine, think of stuff, do some stuff, and to not to do stuff. =)
Ain't life great?!? Naaahh... well not that much actually. Or we can say that it depends. Of course if you are a miserable evil person that winds up alone with no one to talk to, then I am guessing that weekends will suck.. it sucks because being an egotistical bastard that finds delight in flaunting your OH SO MAGNIFICENT POWER in the office, WEEKEND will certainly spell DOOM to you. Tough Luck! Weekends are the average normal person's delight!!
* Hint 'WALPOL' (no..its not an Author of a Statistics Book..)
Moving on to a Normal Person's Life... what is the promise of weekend for us ordinary blokes? Yes.. FUN! We can meet girls.. we can hook up with friends... we can do stuff that is fun or perhaps stuff that makes us think and evaluate our lives.. in other words.. enrichment and entertainment. I am now an advocate of appreciating what we can in life.. so yes! Go! Have Fun! =)
In my case, weekends are for relaxing..........ahhhhhh.. nice..just staring out in the window..peering at the passing clouds and imagining stuff. Conversations with the one I Love... then spending hours in the PC games. Perhaps a normal 'Manly Man' will view my weekend as boring....well i don't blame them... it is kind of boring if you simulate the situation on your mind. I mean.. if you see a bloke just staring out into space hunched in one corner of the room.. what is the first thing that will pop-up in your mind? WEIRDO... bingo! hehe.. Perhaps it is true.... or perhaps testosterone or estrogen has already filled your brain to the point that it already constricted your thinking.. then bub..listen to this.. we all have our fun! Don't mess with us! As the popular saying goes.. "Walang Basagan ng Trip!" if you ask me I'll Say it like this 'Walang Basagan ng Trip Putang Ina!!'. Fortunately I look normal and tough enough not to encourage direct confrontations with Testes/Ovary Thinkers.. they'll going to have a Not So good day if they do.
My apologies for veering of the topic once again..^^ i guess i just had a little too much coffee and cigarette. So the point again is simple. We all have different definition of fun.. we are different people with different needs with different life experiences with different reactions to every stigma that came to our life...so there we are all different. Henceforth, if we all want to have fun then it is advised to use your brain before doing anything rash.. let us not be so eager to judge others just because we do not know them.. and for people who are judgemental (like me for instance) it is advised to first observe them. Keyword.. OBSERVE. Like a game hunter in a savannah, patiently observe the animal in his/her natural environment, i.e., a girl in a coffee table talking with friends. Look for her mannerisms, expressions on her face, the movement of her feet under the table (ehem..it is advised not to look in their crotch if you know what's good for you..) every wave of her hands while expressing a point, if you can then look at her eyes, listen to every note on her voice while expressing an opinion.. do that for a week or so.. then JUDGE! Woot! The Fun part.
Yeah I know people often mistake me for a fun loving fat guy.. and yes I am a fun loving fat guy! =) But of course there is more for me than just being a fun loving fat guy.. and the word "FUN" in that phrase has a different meaning. The point yet again is diversity and discrimination (the neutral discrimination mind you.. not the negative one..) unless we stop being human then we will always look for a 'something-something' that makes that guy or gal unique! And if you ask me, a perfect way to know how unique that person.. is to observe that person's "fun".
Ain't life great?!? Naaahh... well not that much actually. Or we can say that it depends. Of course if you are a miserable evil person that winds up alone with no one to talk to, then I am guessing that weekends will suck.. it sucks because being an egotistical bastard that finds delight in flaunting your OH SO MAGNIFICENT POWER in the office, WEEKEND will certainly spell DOOM to you. Tough Luck! Weekends are the average normal person's delight!!
* Hint 'WALPOL' (no..its not an Author of a Statistics Book..)
Moving on to a Normal Person's Life... what is the promise of weekend for us ordinary blokes? Yes.. FUN! We can meet girls.. we can hook up with friends... we can do stuff that is fun or perhaps stuff that makes us think and evaluate our lives.. in other words.. enrichment and entertainment. I am now an advocate of appreciating what we can in life.. so yes! Go! Have Fun! =)
In my case, weekends are for relaxing..........ahhhhhh.. nice..just staring out in the window..peering at the passing clouds and imagining stuff. Conversations with the one I Love... then spending hours in the PC games. Perhaps a normal 'Manly Man' will view my weekend as boring....well i don't blame them... it is kind of boring if you simulate the situation on your mind. I mean.. if you see a bloke just staring out into space hunched in one corner of the room.. what is the first thing that will pop-up in your mind? WEIRDO... bingo! hehe.. Perhaps it is true.... or perhaps testosterone or estrogen has already filled your brain to the point that it already constricted your thinking.. then bub..listen to this.. we all have our fun! Don't mess with us! As the popular saying goes.. "Walang Basagan ng Trip!" if you ask me I'll Say it like this 'Walang Basagan ng Trip Putang Ina!!'. Fortunately I look normal and tough enough not to encourage direct confrontations with Testes/Ovary Thinkers.. they'll going to have a Not So good day if they do.
My apologies for veering of the topic once again..^^ i guess i just had a little too much coffee and cigarette. So the point again is simple. We all have different definition of fun.. we are different people with different needs with different life experiences with different reactions to every stigma that came to our life...so there we are all different. Henceforth, if we all want to have fun then it is advised to use your brain before doing anything rash.. let us not be so eager to judge others just because we do not know them.. and for people who are judgemental (like me for instance) it is advised to first observe them. Keyword.. OBSERVE. Like a game hunter in a savannah, patiently observe the animal in his/her natural environment, i.e., a girl in a coffee table talking with friends. Look for her mannerisms, expressions on her face, the movement of her feet under the table (ehem..it is advised not to look in their crotch if you know what's good for you..) every wave of her hands while expressing a point, if you can then look at her eyes, listen to every note on her voice while expressing an opinion.. do that for a week or so.. then JUDGE! Woot! The Fun part.
Yeah I know people often mistake me for a fun loving fat guy.. and yes I am a fun loving fat guy! =) But of course there is more for me than just being a fun loving fat guy.. and the word "FUN" in that phrase has a different meaning. The point yet again is diversity and discrimination (the neutral discrimination mind you.. not the negative one..) unless we stop being human then we will always look for a 'something-something' that makes that guy or gal unique! And if you ask me, a perfect way to know how unique that person.. is to observe that person's "fun".
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Group
10:12 AM June 2, 2010.
Seems like an ordinary hot sunny day... i woke up with no one in sight since she already went to work. As I get up from bed i instinctively reach our electronic heater to prepare my coffee. Nothing like a dose of caffeine and nicotine to jumpstart my brain. When I turned it on, nothing happens... WHAT! Damn it!... seems like there's no electricity…or should I say current.. so what did i do? Well… i reach for a cigar and wait...... wait... wait... another cigar.. then wait again...30 minutes past and the current kicks in. Yey… I can finally have my coffee. While still teetering between dreamland and reality I kind of noticed that its been years since I have this peace inside my mind.. yeah sure the warring factions are still inside my head, but i think that somehow they calmed a little bit.. and relatively i call it peace…its a nice feeling.. warm and cozy. As I turn on my PC to play.. i suddenly decided to listen to my collection of some weird and some common music.. I listened to a soundtrack of Matrix Revolutions.. maybe you guys have heard of that.. the end credits. Turns out its title is 'Navras' by Juno Reactor and Jon Davis. I love that music....I’m not an expert in music.. in fact I consider myself a novice when it comes to that art...gut i guess it belongs to Techno Trance with a neo classical element to it. Its great to dive to its notes. Somehow it really reached out and riveted my head to a chaotic swirl of emotions... opposing elements come together to create this melody that is so rich and alive that it makes you want to jump like a 5 year old on a queen sized bed…yet again it transmits emotions that will hold you in your seat entranced to its beauty that you can not help but just sit back and relax. The music is a careful balance of East and West, of four cultures working together. The Rich Orchestra and chorale of the west... the strange yet rhythmic African drums… the sweet melody of Hindu Chants and the wild diverse singing of the middle east.
Sometimes I really wonder why people are always driven to bigotry.. through the years of observing and researching about the behavior of individual persons and its society I have come to notice that people really do want to clump together. No? To form groups of their own and then ostracized others because they 'out from our group'. Its really interesting that people can not live peacefully without hurting others by discrimination, by stereotyping, by ostracizing those who they believe is not worthy of their groups or by simply the acts of aggression because of difference. I have to admit that back then when I was a young idealist I scorn and abhor those practices. It makes me sick to think that people can actually do that. To simply ignore you perhaps because of your looks or beliefs. But now, I came to understand that… shall I say ritual.. or that defense mechanism.. Just like monkeys in the forest, humans are a very social creature. We enjoy the company of others and yes… it is riveted inside our genes to clump together.. its rationale is "Numbers equals strength, Strength = greater survivability". And we all know how dangerous the world is millennia ago. But now that we have reached this so called information age… why do people cling to this instinct to band together?? Simple…because it is the basic formation of civilization. Of course everything have to start somewhere… and this started from the basic unit… Family… then we breed...we see clans... then natural selection takes over then we see a village… then we see towns so on and so forth. And without people banding together for mutual support and protection, then we should have been extinct a long time ago. See? 'Herd Mentality' as sociologists call it has its advantages...it has its purpose... its a shield that protects us from the unspeakable horrors of this world... may it be physical threats or mental threats (anxiety for instance). Its not surprising if you ask Why the HELL am I wasting my time writing this discussion if there is no problem... well my friend… everything has its ugly side.. including this Herd Mentality.. Heck even the sun who is the ultimate life giving force in the solar system has its bad side. 2 billion years and it will incinerate us all in a very very very excruciating, scalding, hot, fire ball of doom...well atleast were long dead before that happens! Yey!
So herd mentality… certainly it has its good side… the other side of the coin is it leads to complacency. Sure it protects us from harm and the anxiety of everyday living however it also discourages 'Thinking'. It suppresses 'Individuality'. How the hell did i come to that conclusion? Ask the scientists…they'll give you the answer.. fine.. since I can not resist discussing this matter a little longer then I'll write what they have said albeit with a little editing done to properly transmit the thought.
Okay.. Thinking and Individuality.. well... what do you notice in the range of topics that you and your friends often talk about?? Ahh.. let's see......hmm... the topics that generally belongs to the same category over and over again.. and do you know why? Simple.... the elements in the group (elements are the people..and that includes you..well if you consider yourself a person that is..) has his or her own personality... his or her own experiences... "HEY!! So it encourages thinking because we all have different points of views! and we all think!" Shut up and let me finish... sure sure.. individual elements have different personalities and cognitive perceptions.. but you may have overlooked the fact that elements will not form into a group if the elements does not have a common ground to start from. It serves as its anchor or foundation that builts the particular group ground up. If you are still going to contend that a group can have different kinds of people in it... then your absolutely right! It is! Group have differenet elements! But the point is... they all share something in common. May it be political beliefs, right chick to boink, sports, or whatever topics requiring little or no thought to a more advanced scholarly discussion. Okay..its established...hmm..as discussed the topics generally belongs to the same range of categories…that is because the elements belonging to the same group is naturally drawn to get the approval of the group. And to get the approval of the group, we unconsciously 'moderate' our thinking just enough so that we can synchronize with the members of the group. And that synchronization leads to interesting discussion, feelings of belongingness, and approval albeit with a little loss of your individual self which is a great trade off.
Okay.. okay.. people with close minds will say yet again that "NO! I’m not loosing my self with my group! I can always say what I want and do what I want with the group because I am the BOSS!" <--- fool.............................. it really is not surprising that if we can somehow peer into the minds of his members, you will see their utter disgust. You see.. we all have a certain range.. an upper ceiling and lower floor if I may, that should one trespass irresponsibly and stupidly...then one will get the groups ire. Then you will see gossips...then you will see hatred... then you will see chaos.. then you will see low morale to the eventual dissolution of the group or one's own expulsion.
So what's the point of all this? Simple.. let us not be bigots who are always inclined to look down upon others who we see as not part of our group. Instead of isolation, why not opt for expansion? Let us open our eyes and mind to other great possibilities... other horizons to explore... other hearts to open and entertain. Honestly.. let us form a wider group... one that is understanding and tolerate of change and difference. Let us make a world wide group. After all.... we all belong to one group...'Humans'.
Seems like an ordinary hot sunny day... i woke up with no one in sight since she already went to work. As I get up from bed i instinctively reach our electronic heater to prepare my coffee. Nothing like a dose of caffeine and nicotine to jumpstart my brain. When I turned it on, nothing happens... WHAT! Damn it!... seems like there's no electricity…or should I say current.. so what did i do? Well… i reach for a cigar and wait...... wait... wait... another cigar.. then wait again...30 minutes past and the current kicks in. Yey… I can finally have my coffee. While still teetering between dreamland and reality I kind of noticed that its been years since I have this peace inside my mind.. yeah sure the warring factions are still inside my head, but i think that somehow they calmed a little bit.. and relatively i call it peace…its a nice feeling.. warm and cozy. As I turn on my PC to play.. i suddenly decided to listen to my collection of some weird and some common music.. I listened to a soundtrack of Matrix Revolutions.. maybe you guys have heard of that.. the end credits. Turns out its title is 'Navras' by Juno Reactor and Jon Davis. I love that music....I’m not an expert in music.. in fact I consider myself a novice when it comes to that art...gut i guess it belongs to Techno Trance with a neo classical element to it. Its great to dive to its notes. Somehow it really reached out and riveted my head to a chaotic swirl of emotions... opposing elements come together to create this melody that is so rich and alive that it makes you want to jump like a 5 year old on a queen sized bed…yet again it transmits emotions that will hold you in your seat entranced to its beauty that you can not help but just sit back and relax. The music is a careful balance of East and West, of four cultures working together. The Rich Orchestra and chorale of the west... the strange yet rhythmic African drums… the sweet melody of Hindu Chants and the wild diverse singing of the middle east.
Sometimes I really wonder why people are always driven to bigotry.. through the years of observing and researching about the behavior of individual persons and its society I have come to notice that people really do want to clump together. No? To form groups of their own and then ostracized others because they 'out from our group'. Its really interesting that people can not live peacefully without hurting others by discrimination, by stereotyping, by ostracizing those who they believe is not worthy of their groups or by simply the acts of aggression because of difference. I have to admit that back then when I was a young idealist I scorn and abhor those practices. It makes me sick to think that people can actually do that. To simply ignore you perhaps because of your looks or beliefs. But now, I came to understand that… shall I say ritual.. or that defense mechanism.. Just like monkeys in the forest, humans are a very social creature. We enjoy the company of others and yes… it is riveted inside our genes to clump together.. its rationale is "Numbers equals strength, Strength = greater survivability". And we all know how dangerous the world is millennia ago. But now that we have reached this so called information age… why do people cling to this instinct to band together?? Simple…because it is the basic formation of civilization. Of course everything have to start somewhere… and this started from the basic unit… Family… then we breed...we see clans... then natural selection takes over then we see a village… then we see towns so on and so forth. And without people banding together for mutual support and protection, then we should have been extinct a long time ago. See? 'Herd Mentality' as sociologists call it has its advantages...it has its purpose... its a shield that protects us from the unspeakable horrors of this world... may it be physical threats or mental threats (anxiety for instance). Its not surprising if you ask Why the HELL am I wasting my time writing this discussion if there is no problem... well my friend… everything has its ugly side.. including this Herd Mentality.. Heck even the sun who is the ultimate life giving force in the solar system has its bad side. 2 billion years and it will incinerate us all in a very very very excruciating, scalding, hot, fire ball of doom...well atleast were long dead before that happens! Yey!
So herd mentality… certainly it has its good side… the other side of the coin is it leads to complacency. Sure it protects us from harm and the anxiety of everyday living however it also discourages 'Thinking'. It suppresses 'Individuality'. How the hell did i come to that conclusion? Ask the scientists…they'll give you the answer.. fine.. since I can not resist discussing this matter a little longer then I'll write what they have said albeit with a little editing done to properly transmit the thought.
Okay.. Thinking and Individuality.. well... what do you notice in the range of topics that you and your friends often talk about?? Ahh.. let's see......hmm... the topics that generally belongs to the same category over and over again.. and do you know why? Simple.... the elements in the group (elements are the people..and that includes you..well if you consider yourself a person that is..) has his or her own personality... his or her own experiences... "HEY!! So it encourages thinking because we all have different points of views! and we all think!" Shut up and let me finish... sure sure.. individual elements have different personalities and cognitive perceptions.. but you may have overlooked the fact that elements will not form into a group if the elements does not have a common ground to start from. It serves as its anchor or foundation that builts the particular group ground up. If you are still going to contend that a group can have different kinds of people in it... then your absolutely right! It is! Group have differenet elements! But the point is... they all share something in common. May it be political beliefs, right chick to boink, sports, or whatever topics requiring little or no thought to a more advanced scholarly discussion. Okay..its established...hmm..as discussed the topics generally belongs to the same range of categories…that is because the elements belonging to the same group is naturally drawn to get the approval of the group. And to get the approval of the group, we unconsciously 'moderate' our thinking just enough so that we can synchronize with the members of the group. And that synchronization leads to interesting discussion, feelings of belongingness, and approval albeit with a little loss of your individual self which is a great trade off.
Okay.. okay.. people with close minds will say yet again that "NO! I’m not loosing my self with my group! I can always say what I want and do what I want with the group because I am the BOSS!" <--- fool.............................. it really is not surprising that if we can somehow peer into the minds of his members, you will see their utter disgust. You see.. we all have a certain range.. an upper ceiling and lower floor if I may, that should one trespass irresponsibly and stupidly...then one will get the groups ire. Then you will see gossips...then you will see hatred... then you will see chaos.. then you will see low morale to the eventual dissolution of the group or one's own expulsion.
So what's the point of all this? Simple.. let us not be bigots who are always inclined to look down upon others who we see as not part of our group. Instead of isolation, why not opt for expansion? Let us open our eyes and mind to other great possibilities... other horizons to explore... other hearts to open and entertain. Honestly.. let us form a wider group... one that is understanding and tolerate of change and difference. Let us make a world wide group. After all.... we all belong to one group...'Humans'.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Think
Breaktime, maybe it’s the only time at my company where I am free to think. Somehow while I enjoy the meal that I prepared, my mind is temporarily shifted to another place and time that is somehow familiar and distant at the same time. Familiar in the sense that I’ve been acquainted with the place. Retreat.. I believe that is what I call them. Distant in the sense that I can never truly get to that place. Places where I can always be myself.. or better yet.. places where I can be who I want me to be… Seems far fetched but I would have always wanted to lecture about something. Sometimes I imagine myself as a priest… giving a sermon on how stupid our society has become. There are times that I imagine myself screaming in anger while I order two stupid young couple to get out of the church. Crazy I know.
Of course things could have been different. I might have been a priest, or a lawyer, or perhaps a fat government employee sitting around the office just waiting for pay day. It could have been nice. But instead, I still find myself back to this… hell. Why hell? Hmm.. that’s a very vague question… since we all have different description of hell. But you know what? They all have something in common. And that is…’Suffering’. Yes. Yes. All people regardless of age, race or culture (excluding the atheist mind you..) will always append ‘Suffering’ when describing that place. Hence, I called my livelihood as Hell. Hell in what sense? Well.. suffering!?! Suffering in what sense? Suffering because you are constricted, and stagnant, and surrounded by God Awful persons. God Awful in what sense? Well.. its because their painfully stupid… and they reek of this stupidity that it makes you sick.. that is how awful this place is.
Is there a moment in your life where in everything is ‘A-Okay’ then a dumbass comes in and ruins the day… that is what I am talking about… for some reason the people here are very…very….very…. shallow… I do not know if a tumor the size of a knee cap is lodged in their brain to impair their cognitive skills… or perhaps they hit their head in the cement so many times that apparently their brain is quarter-dead (if there is such a word). Forgive me.. it seems that my mind is still clouded with annoyance to this unknown class of human beings. Perhaps through Natural Selection people with little or no cognitive skills have become the dominant species. Perhaps Nature has stepped in and chose this ‘dumb trait’ to procreate and spread like tuberculosis eating your smog infested lungs. Maybe God finally stretched out his almighty finger and directed our pitiful existence to descend further into madness. Hmm… makes me wonder why do people forget to think?
Maybe the Ancient Egyptians are right all along. Perhaps it is true that the heart is the center of our being. Interesting that they actually believed that our heart is the source of the 4 most important liquid of our body. And those are BLOOD, SPIT, SEMEN and URINE… very intriguing indeed… on the contrary, our brain is demoted to just a mushy organ in our skull where MUCUS comes from. Nice.. given the degradation that is happening to our OH SO Magnificent Society where Stupidity.. oh sorry…let me rephrase that.. ‘Coolness ‘is encouraged and thinking is shunned. Then it is now safe to assume that they were right all along.
Or maybe I am the one who is at fault? Maybe I am just so serious… and I need to lighten up. Hmm… perhaps it is true. Perhaps all people should just be contented on having a livelihood that will not offer you money, nor gratitude, nor fulfillment, nor solace and peace. Maybe they are right and we should just believe what is presented to us by the main stream media. To just swallow what they have to say. To believe what they want us to believe, to be contented and exist how they want us to exist. Should we be contented?
That’s a question we all have to answer one way or another. The problem is… the only way we can answer that is to think about it…
Or maybe I’m just wrong… what do you think?
Of course things could have been different. I might have been a priest, or a lawyer, or perhaps a fat government employee sitting around the office just waiting for pay day. It could have been nice. But instead, I still find myself back to this… hell. Why hell? Hmm.. that’s a very vague question… since we all have different description of hell. But you know what? They all have something in common. And that is…’Suffering’. Yes. Yes. All people regardless of age, race or culture (excluding the atheist mind you..) will always append ‘Suffering’ when describing that place. Hence, I called my livelihood as Hell. Hell in what sense? Well.. suffering!?! Suffering in what sense? Suffering because you are constricted, and stagnant, and surrounded by God Awful persons. God Awful in what sense? Well.. its because their painfully stupid… and they reek of this stupidity that it makes you sick.. that is how awful this place is.
Is there a moment in your life where in everything is ‘A-Okay’ then a dumbass comes in and ruins the day… that is what I am talking about… for some reason the people here are very…very….very…. shallow… I do not know if a tumor the size of a knee cap is lodged in their brain to impair their cognitive skills… or perhaps they hit their head in the cement so many times that apparently their brain is quarter-dead (if there is such a word). Forgive me.. it seems that my mind is still clouded with annoyance to this unknown class of human beings. Perhaps through Natural Selection people with little or no cognitive skills have become the dominant species. Perhaps Nature has stepped in and chose this ‘dumb trait’ to procreate and spread like tuberculosis eating your smog infested lungs. Maybe God finally stretched out his almighty finger and directed our pitiful existence to descend further into madness. Hmm… makes me wonder why do people forget to think?
Maybe the Ancient Egyptians are right all along. Perhaps it is true that the heart is the center of our being. Interesting that they actually believed that our heart is the source of the 4 most important liquid of our body. And those are BLOOD, SPIT, SEMEN and URINE… very intriguing indeed… on the contrary, our brain is demoted to just a mushy organ in our skull where MUCUS comes from. Nice.. given the degradation that is happening to our OH SO Magnificent Society where Stupidity.. oh sorry…let me rephrase that.. ‘Coolness ‘is encouraged and thinking is shunned. Then it is now safe to assume that they were right all along.
Or maybe I am the one who is at fault? Maybe I am just so serious… and I need to lighten up. Hmm… perhaps it is true. Perhaps all people should just be contented on having a livelihood that will not offer you money, nor gratitude, nor fulfillment, nor solace and peace. Maybe they are right and we should just believe what is presented to us by the main stream media. To just swallow what they have to say. To believe what they want us to believe, to be contented and exist how they want us to exist. Should we be contented?
That’s a question we all have to answer one way or another. The problem is… the only way we can answer that is to think about it…
Or maybe I’m just wrong… what do you think?
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